I Know What I'm Supposed to Eat… So Why Can't I Stick With It?
- Claire Harpster
- Jul 30
- 11 min read
Updated: Aug 13
If you've ever caught yourself thinking,
"I know what I'm supposed to do. I just need to try harder."
I want you to know you're not alone.
In fact, it's one of the most common things I hear from new clients before they start working with me.
They already know vegetables are healthy.
They know protein is important.
They know they should probably drink more water, meal prep more often, and stop eating standing over the kitchen counter after a long day.
The problem isn't a lack of nutrition knowledge.
The problem is that no matter how much they know, they still find themselves stuck in the same cycle:
"This week I'll be more disciplined."
"I'll have more self-control this time."
"I just need to stop making excuses."
And when they can't keep it up?
They blame themselves.
Sound familiar?
As an anti-diet, intuitive eating dietitian, I work with busy moms, and adults of all ages, who are exhausted by this cycle. Inside my Food Freedom Momma Framework, my goal isn't to help you follow another diet. It's to help you confidently nourish yourself, trust your body again, and finally step off the dieting roller coaster.
But before many people reach out, there's another hesitation I hear:
"I'm not sure a non-diet dietitian is right for me because I actually care about my health."
And I completely understand why someone would feel this way.
The term non-diet can be misunderstood.
Some people hear it and assume it means:
"Eat whatever you want."
"Nutrition doesn't matter."
"Forget about healthy eating."
That couldn't be further from the truth.
I care deeply about your health.
I simply don't believe guilt, shame, and endless food rules are the most effective way to pursue it.
In fact, I believe they often get in the way of being your healthiest self.
So if you've been wondering whether you simply need more willpower or whether there's another way to achieve your health goals once and for all, this article is for you.
In this post, I’m going to show you why trying harder when it comes to our health and nutrition often isn't the answer, why food can feel so difficult even when you know exactly what to do, and why getting support from a non-diet dietitian may be the missing piece you've been looking for.
Let's Dive In
We Live in a World That Equates Discipline & Weight With Health
Think about the messages we've all grown up hearing.
"Just have more self-control."
"No pain, no gain."
"Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels."
"Good people eat healthy."
"Bad foods should be avoided."
It's no wonder so many people believe that discipline and weight loss are the keys to better health.
We've been taught that the "healthy" version of ourselves is just one more diet, one more reset, or one more burst of motivation away.
If we could just stop craving sugar, have more self-control around food, lose those last 10 pounds, and finally stick with it…then we'd become the person we've been trying so hard to be.
So when diets stop working—as they often do—we don't question whether the diet was realistic or sustainable.
We question ourselves and assume we failed.
"Maybe I just didn't want it badly enough."
"Maybe I wasn't committed enough."
"Maybe I need more willpower."
But the truth is, struggling with a restrictive approach doesn't mean you lack discipline. It means the approach was never designed to work long-term.
When You Constantly Need Willpower Around Food, Food Is Actually in Control
This may sound backwards.
Most people think needing more willpower means they need to become more in control around food.
But after working with dozens of clients, and my own personal journey through disordered eating, I've noticed something different.
When you constantly need willpower around food, food is actually in control.
Think about it.
Food determines whether you feel successful or like you've failed.
Food influences your mood.
Food occupies your thoughts before vacations, after holidays, during stressful weeks, and every Monday morning when you promise yourself you'll "be good" again.
You spend so much energy trying to control food that it slowly begins controlling you.
It tells you when you can relax.
When you should feel guilty.
When you deserve to celebrate.
When you need to start over.
And that, quite frankly, is exhausting.
Real food freedom isn't becoming someone with iron-clad discipline.
It's getting to a place where food no longer takes up so much space in your mind.
Because the goal isn't to become better at controlling food.
The goal is to build enough trust that you don't need so much control in the first place.
And that's where everything starts to change.
Why Trying Harder Keeps You Stuck
If you’ve spent years believing your biggest problem is a lack of discipline, I want to gently challenge that idea.
Not because I don’t think motivation matters, it absolutely does.
But because trying harder isn't the same as using a strategy that actually works.
Think about what happens every time you decide to "be good."
You make a new plan.
You promise yourself you'll avoid sugar.
You'll stop snacking.
You'll eat perfectly this week.
And maybe you do…for a while.
But eventually, life happens.
You have a stressful day at work.
Your kids get sick.
You go on vacation.
Someone brings donuts into the office.
You enjoy dessert with friends.
Suddenly, it feels like you've "fallen off the wagon."
So you promise yourself you'll be even stricter next time.
More discipline.
More rules.
More control.
And before long, you're right back where you started.
If this cycle sounds familiar, I want you to hear this:
The problem isn't that you aren't trying hard enough.
The problem is that we’ve been taught that the answer to improved health is more willpower, but willpower was never meant to be the foundation of our relationship with food. The real work is learning how to understand and trust our body’s signals.
Your Body Isn't the Enemy
One of the biggest objections I hear is:
"I just can't trust myself around food."
I hear you. I was this woman back in 2015.
After years of dieting, restricting, and trying to control my eating, I had lost trust in my own body. I thought I needed more rules, more discipline, and more willpower to stay “on track.”
The beautiful thing that I learned (and now teach clients about) is, your body already has incredibly sophisticated systems designed to help regulate hunger, fullness, and energy needs. Hormones like ghrelin, which helps signal hunger, and leptin, which plays a role in fullness and energy balance, are part of the body's natural communication system.
Your body is constantly gathering information and responding to what it needs.
This means that your hunger isn't a character flaw.
Your cravings aren't proof that you lack discipline.
They're communication from your body.
The challenge is that years of dieting, food rules, and ignoring hunger can make those signals harder to hear.
I often explain it to clients like this:
Imagine your hunger, fullness, and satisfaction cues are like a radio station.
When you're connected to your body, the signal is clear.
You notice when you're hungry.
You recognize when you're comfortably full.
You learn which foods leave you feeling energized and satisfied.
But every time you ignore hunger because your diet says it's "too early," push past fullness because you're following a meal plan, or avoid foods because they're "off limits," you add a little more static.
Eventually, many people begin saying,
"I can't trust myself around food."
But maybe you haven't lost the signal.
Maybe you've just spent years being taught to tune it out.
Dieting Can Actually Increase Thoughts About Food
One of the reasons I love sharing the science behind this is because it helps people realize:
You're not broken.
One of the most well-known studies on food restriction, the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, found that when healthy men were placed on a calorie-restricted diet, they became increasingly preoccupied with food.
They talked about food more.
Thought about food more.
Collected recipes.
Dreamed about eating.
Food became a much bigger focus in their lives, not because they lacked willpower, but because their bodies were responding to restriction.
Researchers have continued to find that rigid dieting and restrained eating can increase food preoccupation and contribute to cycles of restriction, overeating, and guilt.
In other words…
If you can't stop thinking about food after years of dieting, that isn't a personal failure.
It's often a predictable response to deprivation.
For so many of my clients, this realization is incredibly freeing.
A Non-Diet Approach Doesn't Mean Giving Up on Your Health
This is probably the biggest misconception about intuitive eating.
People hear "non-diet" and think it means:
"Eat whatever you want."
"Nutrition doesn't matter."
"Health isn't important."
That isn't what I believe.
And it isn't what I teach.
I care deeply about your health.
I want you to have steady energy.
I want you to enjoy nourishing meals.
I want you to lower your risk of chronic disease where possible.
I want you to feel strong, confident, and well.
The difference is how we get there.
Instead of using guilt, shame, and fear to motivate healthy choices, we build habits rooted in self-care, body awareness, and flexibility.
Healthy eating shouldn't feel like punishment.
It should feel sustainable.
It should fit your real life.
And it should support both your physical health and your mental well-being.
Research consistently shows that intuitive eating is associated with better psychological health, lower levels of disordered eating, greater body appreciation, and more sustainable eating behaviors. While intuitive eating isn't a weight-loss intervention, it supports a healthier relationship with food, something that often makes long-term health habits easier to maintain.
(Tribole & Resch, 2020; Bruce & Ricciardelli, 2016; Tylka & Kroon Van Diest, 2013.)
Because here's what I believe:
My goal isn't to help you care less about your health.
My goal is to help you stop using guilt, fear, and food rules as the way you pursue it.
And once you understand that…
The question becomes less about "How can I try harder?"
And more about:
"How can I finally get the support to do this differently?"
So, What Does Help?
If you've read this far, you might be thinking:
"Okay... maybe this isn't a willpower problem after all. But what do I do instead?"
This is where many people feel stuck.
Because if you've spent years relying on diets, rules, and self-control, letting go of that approach can feel scary.
You might wonder:
"If I'm not following a meal plan, how will I know what to eat?"
"If I stop relying on willpower, won't I just eat everything in sight?"
"Can I actually improve my health without another diet?"
These are valid questions and they're exactly what we work through together.
The goal isn't to remove all structure.
The goal is to replace external rules with internal confidence, while still using evidence-based nutrition to support your health.
Because here's the truth:
Knowing what to eat and trusting yourself to eat it consistently are two completely different skills.
Most people don't hire a dietitian because they don't know vegetables are healthy.
They hire a dietitian because they want help turning nutrition knowledge into a way of eating that actually feels sustainable.
That's exactly what we do inside my Food Freedom Momma Framework.
What Makes the Food Freedom Momma Framework Different?
When people first reach out to a dietitian, they often expect to be handed another meal plan to follow.
Surprise! That’s not how I do it.
I'm not here to tell you exactly what to eat.
I'm here to help you understand why eating feels so hard in the first place.
Because once we understand that, healthy choices become so much easier.
One of the first tools we use is my Hunger, Fullness, and Satisfaction Journal.
Unlike traditional food journals, this isn't about tracking calories or judging your choices.
Instead, it's about rebuilding trust with your body.
Together, we start noticing:
When you're truly hungry.
What meals leave you feeling energized and satisfied.
How different foods affect your body.
What patterns might be driving cravings, nighttime eating, or feeling out of control.
Over time, something amazing starts to happen.
The "radio static" we talked about earlier begins to quiet down and the signals (your body’s way of communicating to you) gets stronger and clearer.
Instead of relying on rules to tell you when or what to eat, you begin learning how to listen to your own body again.
And that is incredibly empowering.
We Go Beyond "Eat More Vegetables"
One of the reasons I intentionally designed my coaching with hour-long sessions is because your relationship with food deserves more than a quick list of nutrition tips.
Food struggles are rarely just about food.
Maybe you're skipping meals because work is hectic.
Maybe nighttime eating is the only time you finally get a moment to yourself.
Maybe you've spent years believing you have to earn dessert.
Maybe every vacation feels like a battle between wanting to enjoy yourself and worrying you'll "undo all your progress."
Those aren't problems another meal plan or 15 minute session can solve.
They deserve curiosity, compassion, and practical solutions that fit your real life.
That's why our sessions give us the time to explore what's really going on beneath the surface, and why I offer Messenger support between appointments.
Because change doesn't only happen during our sessions.
It happens on Tuesday night when you're standing in the pantry wondering if you've "blown it."
It happens before vacation.
It happens after a stressful day.
And sometimes, having someone in your corner during those moments is exactly what helps you respond differently.
What Food Freedom Can Actually Look Like
One of my favorite examples of this is a client I'll call Client K.
When we first started working together, vacations left her feeling completely out of control around food.
She'd spend weeks trying to "be good" beforehand.
Then she'd eat foods she'd been restricting while she was away, feel guilty, and come home convinced she needed to start over.
She believed the answer was more discipline.
But as we worked together, she discovered something different.
She gave herself permission to enjoy all foods.
She learned which meals genuinely helped her feel energized.
She practiced listening to her hunger and fullness instead of trying to control them.
And little by little, vacations stopped feeling like a free-for-all.
Today, she still enjoys ice cream with her grandkids.
She still values balanced meals because she knows they help her feel her best.
But she no longer feels like she has to binge while she's away or punish herself when she gets home.
Her eating doesn't have to completely change because of where she is.
She doesn't need a reset.
She simply gets back to living her life.
And honestly?
That's what I want for you, too.
Not perfect eating.
Not perfect discipline.
Just the confidence to nourish yourself consistently without constantly feeling like you're fighting food or yourself.
You Don't Need to Try Harder. You Need a Different Approach.
If there's one thing I hope you take away from this article, it's this:
When you constantly need willpower around food, food is actually in control.
And you deserve so much more than that.
You deserve to enjoy dinner with your family without doing math in your head.
You deserve to go on vacation without planning your next diet before you've even unpacked.
You deserve to care about your health without feeling consumed by food.
Most importantly, you deserve to know that your worth has never been measured by how disciplined you are around food.
Health isn't built by white-knuckling your way through another diet.
It's built through small, sustainable habits that work with your body.
Ready to Stop Starting Over?
If you're tired of feeling like every Monday is a fresh start…
If you're exhausted by trying harder with your nutrition only to end up in the same place…
If you're ready to care for your health without relying on guilt, fear, or perfection…
I'd love to help.
Inside the Food Freedom Momma Framework, we'll work together to:
✔️ Break free from the on-again, off-again dieting cycle.
✔️ Reconnect with your body's hunger, fullness, and satisfaction cues.
✔️ Build realistic, sustainable nutrition habits that support your health goals.
✔️ Learn how to confidently nourish yourself without obsession or perfection.
You'll receive personalized 1:1 coaching, hour-long sessions tailored to your unique challenges, Messenger support between appointments, and practical tools that help you navigate real life, not just your "perfect" days.
You don't have to figure this out alone.
And you certainly don't have to keep trying harder.
You simply need a different approach.
→ If you're ready to experience what food freedom could look like for you, I'd love to invite you to book a no-obligation discovery call. Together, we'll talk about where you're feeling stuck, what your goals are, and whether the Food Freedom Momma Framework is the right fit for you.
References:
Keys A, Brožek J, Henschel A, Mickelsen O, Taylor HL. (1950). The Biology of Human Starvation. University of Minnesota Press.
Polivy J, Herman CP. (1985). Dieting and binging: A causal analysis. American Psychologist, 40(2), 193–201.
Tribole E, Resch E. (2020). Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach (4th ed.). St. Martin's Essentials.
Bruce LJ, Ricciardelli LA. (2016). A systematic review of the psychosocial correlates of intuitive eating among adult women. Appetite, 96, 454–472.
Tylka TL, Kroon Van Diest AM. (2013). The Intuitive Eating Scale–2: Item refinement and psychometric evaluation. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 60(1), 137–153.
Van Dyke N, Drinkwater EJ. (2014). Relationships between intuitive eating and health indicators: Literature review. Public Health Nutrition, 17(8), 1757–1766.
